Life At 27 years old

Dear readers

This is a special post that I would like to share to everyone. I am sharing my experience at the age of 27. Today is my birthday which add to me 2⃣8⃣.

(❤)

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. 
 We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. 
 We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. 
 The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. 
 We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”

Anais Nin

IHappy birthday to me! Today I turn a ripe old age of 28 and, as much as I’m not thrilled to be inching toward thirty, I’m pretty excited to look back on the past year and reflect on what an amazing, positive experience it was. There were, as there always will be, some tough times, but over all, I’d have to say that my 28th year was pretty darn awesome. One of the reasons it was so awesome is because I learned so much about life. Every year I learn more and more and, in my opinion, that’s one of the best highs life has to offer — looking back and realizing just how far you’ve come because of all that you’ve learned. I could spend hours and hours writing about this year and all of the ups and downs it’s brought, but today I’ve narrowed the post down to 27 lessons I learned during my 27th year. With each of these lessons listed, I’ve linked to a post that will show you exactly when I was learning that lesson.



This Year, I’ve Learned… 
 


when love is real, when the person is right, you really do just know. 
… change, scary as it is, can be just what you need to free yourself. 
… sometimes you have to let go of what you know and face the unknown. 
… letting people in and opening up to them can be surprisingly rewarding. 
… if you really, really want something, you have to take action
… you are usually quite a bit braver than you think you are
… if you screw up, you have the power to proactively make the present better
… you always know, deep down in your heart, what you really want.
… the people you want in your life aren’t always the ones you need in your life. 
… it is never, ever too late to reclaim your muchness
 whatever you focus on in your life, that’s what you’ll get more of. 
… being positive is really hard sometimes, but it’s always worth it in the end. 
… you have to know what you want and go after it because no one else will. 
… the support of other people is amazingly, astoundingly invaluable. 
… moments you fear the most are often the least likely to be worthy of fear. 
… sometimes you just have to be your own hero
… when you love, you must not forget to love yourself
… no matter how hard it seems, you can let go of your past. 
… the future can have some huge surprises in store for you. 
… living your life your way is important (even if other people don’t understand it). 
… you can continue to love others without liking their choices.  
… everyone — even you! — deserves to experience happiness. 
… you will learn more from other people than you ever thought possible. 
… the person you were can become only a fraction of what you are. 
… if you are unhappy with something in your life, you can change it.
… inspiration is everywhere, but you will only find it if you’re looking. 
… the present moment really is all you have; experience it wisely. 

 

As I clicked through the posts I wrote over the past year, I reflected on how far I’ve come since my h birthday. So much has happened over the past twelve months. So much has changed, but, in many ways, so much of the good in my life has remained. The past year has taught me a great deal about myself and about the world around me. Every day I’m learning more and more about the person I am and the person I want to be. Every day I’m striving to live a life that is both positive and present. It isn’t always easy, but every effort I make ends of being worth it. Thank you all for continuing to read the posts I write and for following me as I embark on another year of my life. I’m not sure how or why, but I somehow already know that this year will be an amazing one…

9 tips for developing your influence

Being a leader seems easy but that is not the case. There are so many factors, attitudes to adopt, that a mere nothing is needed to bring about the opposite effect. Despite this, you want to have that strength that will position you as an unavoidable and influential woman.In this article you will find 9 tips that will help you develop this, while being aware that it is not in any way manipulation.

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1. DO NOT HESITATE TO REQUEST

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Asking requires an effort for some people. But someone who asks is perceived more positively. It is not a matter of begging or passing for a person who is resourceless or judgmental, but knowing his or her limitations and acknowledging that others are more likely to complete an application. We do not necessarily talk about a service, it can be advice or information.

2. HELPING OTHERS

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Helping others does not mean making a service but you can help by listening and counseling. An influential woman knows that it is important to value others. Even if for you, listening is something simple, for someone in distress, doubt or filled with uncertainty, your action will not be without effect even if it is invisible.

3. LEARNING TO MANAGE IMPULSIVITY

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To develop its power of influence, one must manage any abrupt reaction. Impulsivity will show a person who does not know how to handle his feelings and who can be invaded at any time. You will be perceived as excessive and unstable, which is not in the direction of influence and power that must emerge from you. Learn how to handle this type of reactions that can only stop you from achieving your goals.

4. LEARNING TO MANAGE NERVOSITY

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Panic, fear … are negative emotions that can paralyze you and prevent you from acting. In general, they result from a lack of self-confidence. Learning how to manage your nervousness is a long task but you can find techniques that are personal to you to master those moments that make you lose influence. Ultimately, this will help you to master yourself in the most complicated situations and to gain power.

5. BE INDEPENDENT OF OTHERS

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Love, money, encouragement, self-confidence are things that you may tend to expect from others. And this makes you dependent on their reactions, their moods, and alters your way of seeing yourself. You can not live like that. Learn to appreciate the fabulous woman that you are, so you will not have to build yourself in the eyes of others but only on the image you have of you.

6. BE ASSESSED OF KNOWLEDGE

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Knowledge is power and therefore a great way to position yourself as a powerful woman and not a potiche. Being interested in what surrounds you makes you a woman whose subjects of conversation are varied. You will then be interesting and your point of view will always be solicited.

7. PATIENCE

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Impatience is the inability to tolerate a certain type of emotions that affects you. The more you will be able to endure the worst circumstances while having self-control, the more influence you will gain. Patience can help you manage situations where your feelings can make you irrational. It is cultivated and unfortunately it is not born with everything. However, taking time to analyze what a situation can have as impact on you, can make you gain influence because patience is associated with self-control.

8. THE COURAGE

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Courage is not the absence of fear, but it is the ability to keep moving forward by ignoring these fears that can paralyze you or prevent you from acting. An influential woman knows how to surpass herself to achieve her goals whether in her own interest or in the interests of others.

9. THE VULNERABILITY

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This advice may seem strange, but being vulnerable or unveiling your emotions will increase your sympathy and your influence. People perceive you as a person with a heart if you admit your weaknesses and defects. Do not try to be strong, this can mislead others who may see you as a cold and haughty person. Open to others, share your story, not everyone, but let them discover who you are.

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The influence you can have over others will not happen overnight. In addition, this will be the result of efforts to be sustained over time. Note that we are talking about influence and not about manipulation. The goal is to enable you to achieve your goals while having the respect of others.

Related posts: Commandement of woman, Best verion of me

3 principles to keep in mind when you wait for an answer from God

The Christian life does not immune us to challenges, hardships, difficulties … The difference lies in the fact that in Jesus’ name and through prayer, you have direct access to the creator of the universe. I have recently seen the testimony of a mother who has prayed for 42 years for her deaf and dumb son to hear. And God did it!

Through prayer, you can receive strategies, encouragement, directions, revelations, everything you need to tackle difficulties in a calm and stress-free manner. But how do you do it when God does not answer your requests, your questions and you do not know what to do?

Today I propose three principles to keep in mind when you wait for an answer from God:

N1Patience

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It is not because your answer is slow to come that God has forgotten you. Sometimes God uses this to teach you patience and perseverance. Do not be a woman who abandons at the slightest obstacle. The Bible says that the kingdom of heaven will belong to the violent (Matthew 11:12). Violence is not about taking things using force. The real strength is the patience and perseverance you show on your knees to get and wrest your promise and your answer.

Rejoice in hope. Be patient in affliction. Persevere in prayer.
Romans 12:12

For you need perseverance, that after you have fulfilled the will of God, you will obtain what is promised to you.
Hebrews 10:36

N2Keeping the Faith

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Faith is the firm assurance that God is able to do what He promised. It is to believe, whatever your reality, that God will do it. This is not always easy and it is for this reason that learning Bible verses is an antidote to the doubt that the enemy is trying to immerse in your mind.

God can do beyond what you can hope for, dream or think. But you have to believe it to see it come true. Abraham believed and Sarah, despite his unbelief, gave birth (Romans 4: 13-21). You too can live the promises of God if only you have faith, if only you believe in it!

Now faith is a firm assurance of things hoped for, a demonstration of those not seen.
Hebrews 11: 1

Now to him who can do by the power that works in us infinitely beyond all that we ask or think, to him be glory in the Church and in Jesus Christ, in all generations, in the ages centuries ! Amen!
Ephesians 3: 20-21

N3 Trust in God

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The methods and voices of God are different from ours. In the garden of Eden, one of the weapons that Satan used to take Eve to doubt is the phrase: Did God really say?
He will probably try this technique with you because his goal is that you doubt, that you give up or that you agree to live a life at a discount.

The advice I can give you is to always scan your thoughts. Do not let them wander. Do not accept as coming from you, all that passes you by the head. In the face of doubt, reaffirm your trust in God. In the face of doubt, choose daily to put your trust in the Lord.

God is not a man to lie, nor a man’s son to repent. What he said, will he not? What he has declared, will he not execute it?
Numbers 23:19

So it is with my word, which comes out of my mouth: it does not return to me without effect, without having executed my will and accomplished my purposes.
Isaiah 55:11

If this post has encouraged you, edified or inspired, do not hesitate to share it with your friends. They will surely need it.

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Be Blessed

10 Facts about Me

Hi lovelies,

How was your weekend? Mine was very hectic but thank God to see another week.

Today’s post is about me. Lol yes I love myself and spend more time with myself. It is a way of learning more about yourself and as well a therapy of healing. I found it very good. However what do you know about Merlinebeauty.

  1. My real name is Angel
  2. Congolese is my origin
  3. My nickames “Baby Angel” “Bapu” only my family can call me so
  4. I speak French, Lingala and Spanish
  5. I am Christian
  6. Driven by my purpose of life, I am not perfect but like to inspire others. I think evryone should be an inspirationto anyone you meet
  7. Worshipper to my God Jesus Christ and songwriter
  8. I am full of creativity
  9. I don’t like my tummy but working on it. Love the way I have been made, beautiful and strong woman.
  10. My favourite food is Paella, do not ask me why but I love seafoods.

 

Related  post: Merlinebeauty who am I, Going strong and single

How to deal with pressure at university

A soon-to-be postgraduate student offers  tips to manage stress and pressure during exams, thesis work or university applications

Whether it’s a demanding upcoming exam, the bachelor’s or master’s thesis that needs to be perfected, or applying to a university; these “little projects” are associated with factors influencing your future and therefore the pressure can lead to anxiety, frustration and sometimes sheer despair. In the end, most of the energy that could have been used for facing the hurdles gets put into destructive action, such as worrying and overthinking. So, what can be done about it?

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First thing’s first, actions or events have the meaning and importance that you give them. This basically means that you can control or at least influence the emotional heaviness that is sapping you. You are not (completely) at the mercy of destiny. Realising this changes a lot! Essentially, when worrying, suffering and overthinking, you are stuck in the moment, overwhelmed by everything and not able to act efficiently. The important thing is not to be controlled by the situation and to maintain autonomy. But how can this be achieved?

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Strategies for putting things in perspective

One reliable strategy is relativisation. Is it really that important to receive a certain grade? Is a successful career and future linked with admission to a certain university? In the majority of cases, a grade or event is not as vital as you initially thought. Moreover, relativisation helps you to keep a level head, which in turn increases your chances of achieving your objectives in the end.

Second, keep your eyes on the size of your investment. More precisely, honestly answer questions on how much effort you want, and can, put into a project. In the end, it is a cost-benefit calculation and at some point you are harming yourself if you invest too much energy, worry and money. After relativising, you can ask yourself: “How much is it worth?” This has nothing to do with resignation or rejecting your goals; you can only obtain clarity and realism by reflecting on your efforts.

Third, try to find an attractive plan B. Try to avoid depending on just one plan. Having alternatives makes you aware of your ability to choose. Again, this can help you to keep watch on the emphasis you put on, for example, admission to a certain university. With more options, you can face a challenge and be more relaxed.

However, when it comes to exams or your thesis, choices and alternatives are not always available. The following strategies aim to optimise your academic abilities.

Strategies for more efficiency, endurance and focus

First, address your motivation. Simply put, ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. Try to see the big picture and remind yourself why it is worth the trouble.

What is more, this can help to develop a specific study plan and sort out your priorities. However, do not invest too much time in developing your plan; it can be tempting to remain in that stage since you will likely feel very efficient doing it, but resist! Part two is more important: adhere to your schedule, stick it out and reward yourself after intense study sessions.

Finally, prevent or at least decrease distraction. Turn off your mobile, tidy your work desk and try to create a quiet and calm environment. To increase your performance, make sure you drink enough water and that your room is regularly aired. Additionally, exercising or going for a walk can help get your circulation going; move your body and your mind will follow.

Great objectives can truly challenge us. Sometimes they bring us to our limits, but by facing them, we learn a lot about ourselves, our hidden strengths and weaknesses, our emotions and goals. Maybe the most important thing to take away from this article is to retain your ability to act.

What remains to be said? Stay calm, breathe deeply and just enjoy a great opportunity to learn something about yourself and to develop as an academic and a person.

Related posts: Public health course, Deal with stress

What are your thoughts and tips about dealing with pressure either at work, life or study? 

5 ways to manage student stress

University life can be stressful for even the most relaxed of students, but if you’re suffering don’t worry – help is at hand. This is my current mood I am facing between work,university and personal life.

There are many potential causes of student stress, such as:

  • loneliness, homesickness or relationship difficulties
  • harmful use of, or withdrawal from, alcohol or drugs
  • juggling your studies with part-time work
  • revising for exams
  • struggling to deal with debt
  • writing essays and dissertations.

There are a number of common reactions to stressful circumstances such as these, including:

  • Behavioural reactions – these could involve avoiding or escaping from the situation and turning to alcohol or drugs.
  • Physical reactions – you may experience an increased heart rate, sweating, shaking, headaches, butterflies and over-breathing.
  • Psychological reactions – stress can lead to fear, panic and the feeling that something bad is going to happen.

‘Stress occurs when the demands upon us are greater than our ability to cope with them,’ explains Dr Paul Blenkiron, an NHS consultant psychiatrist. ‘There’s a difference between stress and pressure. I may have a busy job where I’m under pressure, but I may be coping and even enjoying it without stress.

‘We perform best with a moderate amount of pressure, not too little. Imagine taking an exam where you were totally relaxed – you wouldn’t perform at your best.’

However, if stress is beginning to affect your mental wellbeing, try exploring the following five coping mechanisms.

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Exercise

This doesn’t have to be a gruelling gym session – you simply need to get your heart racing, for example by going for a brisk walk or a bike ride.

‘Exercise can be hugely beneficial for the mind as well as the body,’ says Glyn Williams, senior wellbeing practitioner at the University of the West of England (UWE), Bristol. ‘Regular exercise releases endorphins – feel-good hormones that can help to reduce tension and allow the mind to focus on something other than worries and concerns.’

Stephen Bradford, senior mental health adviser at Birkbeck University, adds that just 30 minutes of moderate exercise five times a week can have a significant effect. ‘There’s some suggestion that, for mild depression, moderate exercise is as effective as medication and cognitive behaviour therapy,’ he explains.

Mindfulness

A relaxation technique originating in Buddhism, mindfulness is now used by clinicians to improve patients’ physical and mental health. It can significantly lower stress levels.

Mindfulness is most often practised through deep breathing or guided meditation. Free smartphone apps such as Calm and Headspace are available to provide this. ‘Mindfulness has been shown to reduce worry and rumination through focusing on consciousness and the here and now,’ Stephen says.

For an excellent introduction to the field, follow this ten-minute practice exercise by mindfulness expert Professor Mark Williams.

Talking to someone

Isolation can have an extremely negative impact on your happiness. ‘Accepting that you may need some help is often the first step to feeling better.

Speak to your friends and family – they know you best and care about you most. What’s more, studies suggest that socialising with a friend just once every week can reduce your stress levels and improve your mood as much as therapy or counselling.

Alternatively, the majority of universities offer free counselling and support groups. Sessions tackle wide-ranging themes, from surviving freshers’ week to coping with post-Christmas exam stress.

Time management

People often get stressed when they feel that they’re running out of time to complete something. However, simple time management techniques can help you to feel relaxed and focused.

Try creating a written work schedule, breaking your tasks down into manageable chunks and planning accordingly. Divide your work into urgent and non-urgent tasks, and important and non-important tasks.

Stephen recommends that your daily plan also incorporates frequent study breaks, around eight hours of sleep and time to participate in enjoyable activities.

Related post: Pressure with university, Public health course

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Happy Friends day

Hello followers today I saw on facebook it’s friend day. Wishing all my followers “Happy  friend day”. In my opinion a lot I have lost the meaning of friendship. Many of us are only there when it is beneficial for ourself. Hope it will help to evaluate our friend zone level. When last have you visited your friend or give a call. Don’t be self centred it is not always about you. Doing good to others even when they hurt you. Friendship is those who tell you the truth even if it’s hurt and has your back always. Food of thought.