10 keys to meet the right person

All the great cities are filled with bachelors, couples who make and break each day. Making meetings is not always obvious, but posing with the first comer is not the best thing to do either. Love is a matter of timing, self-fulfillment, maturity and envy. You will have to love yourself, know yourself and know what you want in life to be able to multiply it in a couple relationship and be able to attract the person that suits you. Finding love the truth, takes time, it’s a long or short path, and each story is different.

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1. The state of mind

The state of mind in which you find yourself is for many. You will unconsciously tend to drag your past with you. To mourn the failures of yesterday is to learn and to keep what is constructive. But it is also accepting that it is part of the person you are today. It is to be taken into consideration. Accept that your ex is perhaps not a bad person and that you lived exceptional moments but that it was not good for you. And also accept that it makes a woman very happy today perhaps thanks to you. Anyway thanks to this relationship, you could discover yourself in another day and arm yourself for the future.

2. Your Way of Presenting You

The way you present yourself to the world is not only dress, it is an attitude, a way of behaving. To really have confidence in oneself and in what one has to offer is on the one hand very attractive and above all will allow you to attract men confident sharing the same joy of life that you. You do not need to make tons of them, but to learn or to learn to be natural and to let your aura appear. Be confident with yourself.

3. Open-mindedness

Or how not to dwell on appearances. You surely have a list of physical criteria, an attraction for a certain type of men … But life can surprise you and the human being is composed of more than one facet. You will have to be open to this type of surprise … But if you only look at a certain type of men, you will live and live the same type of relationship.Certainly it must please you, but try to take the time to know different personalities. Many wonderful history began with a friendship.

4. Take the time to get to know you

To know oneself is to be happy oneself. The relationship and respect you will have for yourself, the image you have of yourself is what you refer to others and not what you see in the mirror. Ask yourself the right questions! Do you want to be alone? Are you looking for a relationship you will be dependent on? Do you want to take the time to meet the right person?

5. Consider your future desires

You will have to replace your anxiety by your faith, a solid faith. Moving towards inner peace and serenity. The positive will bring you positive and positive encounters. What are you looking for? A father for your future children? A loving husband? A partner to travel the world? Once you have your answer in mind a natural sorting will happen. You will instinctively go towards men who seek the same thing as you. Empty your mind of all media superficialities and have confidence in life! That is also how to have faith.

6. You deserve to be loved

It is important that you are loved at least as much as you love yourself and you must be convinced of it. This will allow you to accept the love that is offered to you. True love does not make us suffer, but the ideas that we make of it sometimes lead us to play with the love of the other for fear of being betrayed. Alas fear does not remove the danger, it creates it. The most courageous is not the one who loves, but the one who accepts to be truly loved without taking his partner for granted … One must accept to have lost in the past, to learn to savor the victory of love …

7. The outside world

You will tend to reassure yourself by comparing yourself to women or couples in the same situation as you. Do not be afraid to have couples as models, to be interested in couples around you or in the media. Being jealous and envious is harmful, but curious, ready to question, and admitting that you may have done wrong is only positive. It is difficult to have an honest judgment when you are emotionally involved in your relationship, but seeing a couple live the type of relationship you have experienced can open your eyes to your own mistake. And to witness a true love, is a sign that it exists and is within reach of all. And that’s what you have to believe.

8. Be the right person

To find the right person, you will have to be the right person. Be the reflection of your inner beauty. Work on you and be the best possible and imaginable version of yourself.You can never change a man, but you can improve yourself … To find shoes at your foot, you must be sure of your size. You want a man like this, not like that, a relationship like this, but not like that! But what do you have to offer? You look for the good … but he too. To each one to work on oneself, so as to be ready the day when love falls on us.

9. Accepting vulnerability

Vulnerability is accepting its faults and remedying them instead of blaming the male potentiality of your life. To be vulnerable is to accept that the other can also be vulnerable and make him want to open up to you. Let him feel confident. That he can make the guy out, play the role that strengthens him in his manhood because he knows that with you he can be completely himself, for you are whole with him. As paradoxical as it may seem in certain situations. It is you who have control, and the power to let your weaknesses reveal and reveal you will be a proof of courage in the eyes of the man who will love you sincerely.

10. Be Selective

Do not be afraid to be demanding, to raise your standards and to stick to them. This does not mean that you are pretentious as some will want to make you believe but just that you have become aware of what you want and especially what you DO NOT want. Having a clear idea of what makes you happy will allow you to avoid many disappointments. Because to accept to go in the opposite way of what your experience taught you is to take the risk to be disappointed again and especially to waste time!


No one can decide to make you happy, you decide it yourself” – Beyonce

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The construction of your couple starts with the construction of your person! You will have to be honest with yourself, not give in to the dictates of society and take the time you need to be the woman you want to be for the love of your life. The reality is that it is the man who proposes and the woman who disposes. So take the time to dispose of the options that open to you, love is there! It is in you! And all around you!

Why is it difficult to find love?

According to different experts, psychologists, sex therapists, … to find love, one would have to work on oneself, in particular by letting go in relation to certain myths and fears to which one believes.

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Perhaps among the most well-known belief in this context is that of the Prince Charming. You may remember “Think Like a Man” (2012), inspired by Steve Harvey’s bestseller “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”. In this film, the character of Lauren, interpreted by Taraji P. Henson, is CEO and single for several years because she is waiting for the man who will have all the standards she has set. Having standards is a very good thing, but in her case, more than criteria, it is in fact the perfect man she expects. In an article published in the French feminine magazine Version Femina , psychologist Philippe Brenot recommends, not to adapt its criteria, but rather not to put them all on the same level:

Instead of dreaming of the ideal man, it is better to meet the imperfect man who pleases you and makes you happy.

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In the film, Lauren will end up hierarchizing what he thinks is more important in a man: having a companion who earns a lot of money but who does not really care about her VS. A man who does not win as much as she but is resolutely turned towards her and who gives her all the attention she needs.
Having standards is very important, but it should not make you miss opportunities in love because you give them all the same importance. To avoid a situation like this, you could “classify” your criteria by highlighting those that appear to be your priority, as Lauren did in “Think Like A Man”. It does not in any way call into question the high standards you have chosen, on the contrary.

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The diffilculty to find love can come from another problematic:  the fact of little or bad knowing ourself. Indeed, when you get to know yourself better, you naturally develop self-esteem and self-confidence. It is by working on these points that the meetings are facilitated because we expect nothing from the other, if not exchange. We are also aware of its value. As a general rule, getting to know one another better enables one to be more attentive to oneself and one’s desires and requirements. So you make choices assumed and not by default. The French psychologist Jacques Salomé explains it very well in an interview given to the French magazine Psychologies  : ”  Lack of self-love – this love is benevolent, Respect – has direct consequences on our relationships with others. It results in a lack of confidence, doubts and mistrust that will generate or maintain either relationships based on appropriation and possessiveness, or persecuted-persecutory type relationships. If I do not love myself, I will not be able to love, since I will be in need and the requirement to be loved.  “

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Knowing you perfectly contributes greatly to your balance and your well-being. And of course, you are more serene and willing to interact with others. To strengthen that confidence in yourself, you can do a series of small exercises. For example, you can write down in a notebook what you did in the day, even the little things. You will see that you are capable of much. It will make you more confident in your worth. Meditation also allows you to take time for yourself, even a few minutes a day.

One of the other barriers that can hinder the search for a partner is the fear of meeting someone . Often, this translates into negative thoughts: one apprehends the reactions of the other in this or that situation before it even happens. We think of the worst. These may be fears related to the past. Attention, wanting to be careful and not falling in love too fast is a healthy and recommended attitude. Where it can become a problem is if you do not go out a lot or if you retreat on you for example. According to the psychotherapist Sylvie Tenenbaum, women ” … torture the mind to understand what they call” failure “of their emotional life. But it is enough to listen to their a priori on men, To observe their behavior and their choice of partners, to understand that fear is at the origin of their attitudes and their errors.  “

Without necessarily going out every night or skimming all the speed dating , you can start again to leave between friends, just to have a good time between girlfriends. You will see that naturally, you will resume taste for fun outings. It is said that meetings are often done via the circle of friends  . With the Internet, some thought that the meetings would be facilitated, especially with social networks. But sites and other dating apps have not always been seen with a good eye. However, these supports have developed quite badly in recent years. Proof that there is a real need because it can actually be difficult to find love. That being said, Why not test a dating application? Maybe not Tinder who has a sulphurous reputation … But there are several applications well done and playful that may put less pressure on the meeting (although of course there is always pressure eh ??? ?)

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Speed dating, applications and dating sites, forums, events dedicated to bachelors, reality show … Meet love can be experienced as a real difficulty. You have to realize that nothing is insurmountable. One of the things to do is ask yourself what blocks and why. Is it fear or belief that keeps you from moving forward? Once the causes have been identified, you must work on them to reach a stage where you will be ready to choose a partner and move forward with him / her.

Related posts: First date, Find a man, Single and strong, Find your Boaz

5 things you have to be sure about going further with a man

You’re a couple recently and you wonder if it’s not time to move on to the next step?Before crossing the course, it is important to see if this man is worth it, if you do not persist your time and if you are not dealing with a builder. Let’s see, then, 5 things you need to be really sure about before going any further with a man

1.   O F   Y  O U

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Even before you project the analysis on him, you must first apply it to your own person. Do you really know what you’re looking for? Do you want to frolic or are you really trying to ask yourself? You have to be fully in tune with your wishes and expectations because a breach would be synonymous with pole strained to make you play. The more you will be in phase with yourself, the more you will be able to express clear, clear and concise wishes to your suitor. When he is notified of your wishes, he can not deny that he was not informed of what you wanted, let alone pretend that you were not clear enough with him: in short, when you know where you are Go and what you want, you do not give the stick to make you beat and naturally, you sort and separate yourself from what is harmful to you.

2.  H I S    A M B I T I O N S

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It is not a question of having a materialistic vision but rather being in phase with the reality of our society. A man incapable of taking up his responsibilities or of looking beyond the tip of his nose will never be able to bring the stone to the building for the elevation of your couple. Ambition is not about the money a man is able to bring home; it emphasizes a man’s ability to rebound when he weakens and the energy he puts in place to Do not rely on what you have learned. This is also the fundamentals of your couple, are you on the same wavelength, do you see things the same way about support, fidelity, religion etc.? It is very important to exchange about his vision fan not to be disappointed several months by the beginning of his relationship.

3. H I S    C H A R A C T ER

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This is an aspect that really should not be taken lightly. There is no question of pushing it into its intrenchments, to see how it will react but above all to analyze the person you have in front of you. Certainly, we can all easily play the game to camouflage our feelings or our true temperament but there are gestures that say a lot about a person. We must not neglect the vigilance to be had at this level.

4.    H I S    I N T E N S I O N S

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To gauge the sincerity of a man is a step not to be taken lightly. Regardless of the method that has allowed you to get closer to the point of considering a story, you can not deviate from this rule. Many people only want to flirt while leaving doubt about a possible commitment of their shares. Worse, they succeed in pushing vice by making you have a serious relationship and then disappear after getting what they wanted. Many also lie about their relationship status and pretend to be single – while they have women and children – for the sole purpose of putting you in bed. It is therefore really crucial to know what are his intentions towards you, this will avoid many disappointments.

5. H I S   D E S I R E   T O  C O M M I T

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It is obvious that one can not go further with a man who only seeks to gather flowers from flower to flower! If you seek to settle down and nest yourself, of course, you will not accept that a man is playing with you. Unfortunately, the human being is able to act with the greatest slyness and deceit when it comes to achieving its goals. It is in this sense that it is important to know more about his vision of commitment, if he is in that state of mind or if he considers himself a free electron. A man who truly wishes to stabilize in his sentimental life knows how to put things in place to achieve it. If his commitment is sincere he will know how to involve you in his life, reassure you and will not hesitate to project with you.

These 5 points are not exhaustive, others are of course to be taken into account. It is important to stress that you must remain suspicious and not judge your relationship only with the heart. Sincerity is rare nowadays, which is why we must give priority to observation and advance in all objectivity.

Related posts: Building trust, No trust no relationship, First date

7 lessons taught by Tasha Coobs

Tasha Cobbs, the singer of “Break Every Chain” got married on Friday last week. And, once is not customary, this Monday we will not have the usual meditation. I was so happy for her when the news broke into the social networks, that I had to talk about it. Today I would like to share with you 7 lessons that her marriage teaches to all those who are waiting for their life partner. The 35-year-old singer is not the first to marry after 30 years. Before her, there was Kari Jobe, a well known Christian singer who married at the age of 33 years. But let’s stay focused on Tasha because it’s his season youloulouwww !!!

What lessons can we learn from this marriage?

1 – Concern first of the kingdom of heaven and the rest will be given to you above all


Tasha Cobbs serves God in praise since she was very young. I do not know if you have ever observed the freedom with which she sings, but one thing is certain, it is not easy to acquire. She detected her gift, her mission and was obedient to God’s guidance even when it did not make sense. I remember her saying that God told her to move to Atlanta when she did not know anyone there. She obeyed and found herself in the church of Pastor William Murphy III, the interpreter of “Praise is What I do”. He will become her mentor and help her become the artist she is today. Meanwhile the man who was about to become her husband, she was not idle. She invested in herself and in her relationship with God. And as the Bible says in Habakkuk: “If the promise is delayed, wait, Because surely it will be accomplished. God honored His obedience.

Lesson 1: God has not forgotten you; It is not because all those around you are married and you reach the thirties that it is death. What is your call, your mission, the projects God has given you? You may meet your husband through this. Do not depress, reclaim yourself and build your empire while waiting for Boaz.

2- She invested in her emotional health

Tasha Cobbs recently opened on the deep depression she had for several years as she led the praise every Sunday. She spent her days shut up in her house in the dark and only went out to go to church. She admitted to consulting a psychologist in addition to putting her faith in God, for a total deliverance. The alliance of the 2 has allowed him to get out of this chronic depression. It was during this period of restoration that God told him to put the song “Break Every Chain” on the album which will become an international success.

Lesson 2: God is also interested in your mental and emotional health. Life can be cruel and we can as women develop some dysfunctions. It is important to ask for help and prayer, because if these problems are not resolved before marriage, they will get worse.

3- His future husband understands his ministry and they are complementary

Tasha Cobbs is an impressive vocal singer and performer. I noticed that especially in music, couples who last are those who are a team at home and in music (they have a common purpose). Musical complicity is a complementary cement that unites them because, unless you have a Girl Band, having a husband who understands spiritually the sound you want and humanly the sacrifice that your gift requires, it has no price. The husband of Tasha Cobbs, Kenneth Leonard, is a recognized musical producer in the field. I worked with famous artists and he is also an entrepreneur. Below, the musical part “Jesus Dit It”. For those who know, it is a synchronization of “ouf” between the worship leader and the musical director. Guess who was the music director on this cd? His husband ! Below, a live excerpt.

Lesson 3: To fulfill a vision, the one God has given you, your husband must be your partner, a partner that adds value to your life. The Bible says: 2 Do they walk together without reaching an agreement? This is particularly valid in marriage. The couples in the Gospel that exemplify this are: Mary Mary, Cece Winans (her husband is her manager), Tamela Mann (they do everything to 2).


4- She accepted her children

Your future husband will probably have a past. In the case of Tasha Cobbs, I do not know if he is widowed, divorced or demoted before returning to God. But what is true is that he really had three children before he knew her. It is not the only one in this case. The daughter of Td Jakes Sara, married a pastor who had 3 children before returning to the Lord.

Lesson 4: Your future husband may have children. Have you considered that? Think about it and make it a subject of prayer.

5- Their marriage was done in privacy and at a lower cost

Last year, Tasha Cobbs said he had won $ 800,000 (yes, in the US it’s public data) a little over  £648,174.6 yet she married simply and cheaply. I think both had to declare more than 1M of income but they chose an intimate and private ceremony.

Lesson 5: The essential thing is to unite before God and not the beauty of the feast. Wisdom would like you to invest in your future home, a common project and not in a party. I think we must return to simplicity and wisdom in marriage. The most important thing is not the luxury and opulence of a party that lasts less than 24h, especially if you do not have huge means. Tasha with £648,174.6 of income chose simplicity. If you make less money and push back your wedding to make an expensive wedding, I encourage you to make a simple and intimate party instead of burning or fornicating😉

6- The exhibition

I did not understand why Tasha Cobbs had been exposing her relationship with him for a few months. She had no engagement ring, nothing at all. In my opinion, a man who is not committed to you does not deserve to appear on your social networks. Today I understand that they probably had already stopped the date of their marriage when she started talking about him.

Lesson 6 : Do not put any man who has not committed to you on social networks😉

7- Do not lower your standards

I do not know what the future holds for them, but I see how the brother is considerate, how he creates with her the different songs and sounds for his next album, how much he is not intimidated by her, how much he celebrates his And its uniqueness. Ummm I hear you, you wonder how I know all this? InstaStories and Snapchat! Yes, both talk about their daily life, including the preparation of Tasha ‘s next album;). At 30, she could have accepted the 1st comer, or someone who does not share her vision or call. But she waited. As Kari Jobe before her and who is now a little boy’s mom, she waited for the green light from God.

Lesson 7 : Do not diminish your standards, your vision, your plans for marriage. God is able to give you someone who will be your teammate, your husband, your lover and the father of your children. Do not despair ! Do not accept the 1st comer. Trust in God

If you are tempted to resume your sentimental life in your hand, believing that God has forgotten you or is too late, I encourage you through these 7 lessons to trust God. He is a marriage maker.

Related post: Find your boaz, Healthy relationship

Don’t waste his/her time

It may sound awkward but it is the truth. I am addressing to all individuals who might plan or already hurt many men/women. Yes I said, “Dont waste his/her time”.

It is very important in a individual’s life especially in relationship to let his/her know your intention. I believe it is better to have the right foundation from the beginning of the relationship and tell your mind. It is difficult to speak your mind but sometimes I never understand why some individuals will waste some precious men/women who are worth to be a diamond. I am talking from experience.

Men, you might find her attractive but does not mean you should use for your advantage then break up with her for unreal reason. If you love her show it by your act. If you know you cannot commit yourself to on person, better off be single.

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“Don’t confuse a man/woman’s patience with his/her intelligence! He/She may not say anything, he/she may not do anything, but he/she definitely notices everything. A man leaves when his pride is hurt. A woman leaves when her heart is! One day she’ll get tired of waiting for you to get your act together, so she’ll get hers together. But when she does, you’ll never see her again!”…. And that is the truth…

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If she desires to be your wife, and you have no desire to be her husband, then it’s time for you to be her ex. Grown women are looking for stability not just someone to play house with… And that is the truth…

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She had to accept that she just won’t stop loving you; at least not as fast as she would like to. But deciding to move on is sometimes not about falling out of love with someone. Sometimes it’s simply about falling deeper in love with yourself, and acknowledging that staying in certain situations is a betrayal to your own self… And that is the truth…

Men….. Women knows what they with us…. We too know what we want with too…. Let us combine our forces together and make things become a reality than stagnating and moving backward… And that is the truth…

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Going single and Going strong

Maybe you’re not ready to date anyone yet, maybe you’re choosing to be single right now (or indefinitely), or maybe you are considering breaking up with your partner but the thought of being single is terrifying to you. No matter what, it’s really important to understand that dating someone or being in a relationship doesn’t “complete” you. A lot of people might feel that if they’re not in a relationship, or if they don’t want to be in one, something must be wrong with them or something is missing from their lives. But this isn’t true! You are whole and complete just as you are. Being single may look lonely, scary, unfulfilling or boring to some people, but it doesn’t have to be.

Being single helps you learn who you are

If you can’t be yourself, by yourself, it can be next to impossible to be yourself with someone else. That’s not to say if you are in a relationship right now you need to break up, but spending time alone can be a really healthy thing to do. Being alone with yourself gives you more free time to explore your own thoughts, feelings, interests and the areas of your life you might be tempted to neglect when you’re with a partner (and maybe even watch that TV show you’ve been wanting to see!).

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Being single helps you learn to set boundaries

Setting boundaries is key to being a healthy person because boundaries help you define how you would like to be treated by others. Figuring out what you are comfortable with, both in and outside of a relationship, can be really valuable, and while you’re single you can really think clearly about your own boundaries. When thinking about your boundaries, some things to consider are your physical, sexual and emotional comfort levels in different situations (check out this handy list from Scarleteen to help you think through your sexual boundaries). While it’s possible for boundaries to shift during a relationship as you build trust with someone, having those standards in the back of your mind if something goes wrong can be so helpful.

Being “alone” doesn’t have to mean you are alone

Having a solid support system made up of people of all genders can be helpful during any phase of life. Members of your support network can include family, friends, co-workers, mentors or anyone else you trust and enjoy spending time with. It can sometimes be easier to create that system of support when you’re not in a relationship since when you have a partner, it can feel as though you don’t have time for anyone else. Some ideas for building up your support system include reconnecting with that old friend you haven’t seen in ages, catching up on things with your bff, or making some new friends through a team or club. Hobbies, clubs and shared activities are also great ways to continue connecting with the people who are already a part of your life.

Being single helps you learn to take care of and trust yourself

Learning how to take care of and value yourself – rather than another person – is so important, and it doesn’t have to be scary! It can actually be a really cool learning process. Feeling good on your own is a useful skill whether you’re in a relationship or not. It’s great to know that you are happy on your own and able to love yourself and have that love be enough. It’s also hard to trust other people if you don’t already trust your own wants, needs and instincts, and trust is a key foundation in any kind of healthy relationship.

You can be happy single, just like you can be happy in a relationship. It’s a great time for being good to yourself and exploring new things. So kick back, relax and enjoy the single life!

Building Trust after cheating

A terrible thing has happened. You found out your partner cheated on you. What happens now?

For some people, cheating means an automatic break-up. But others may still have feelings for their partner, and depending on the circumstances they may want to try and keep the relationship going.

As hard as this might be to hear, it’s important to remember that there is no way to 100% guarantee that your partner will never cheat again. Your partner has to make the choice not to cheat, and you can’t control other people’s decisions. However, you can choose whether or not to trust your partner again. Rebuilding trust is possible. It does take a lot of work, and BOTH partners have to be committed to healing the relationship.

Here are some tips to keep in mind:

Communication should be open. Healthy communication is important in any relationship, but especially after trust has been broken. You should be able to talk honestly with your partner, and you should feel that your partner is being open and honest with you. If you have an argument, try to fight fair without bringing up the past.

Be on the same team. Your relationship may not look the same on the “other side,” but it is possible to build something new. You should both be focused on building that new relationship together.

Stay “present-oriented.” One of the most difficult things about rebuilding trust after someone cheats is staying in the present moment and building toward the future, rather than living in or worrying about the past. You have every right to feel hurt, angry, and sad about your partner’s decision to cheat. However, if you can’t eventually let go of those feelings and work toward a more positive, open approach to the relationship, it may be a sign that this relationship is not worth staying in.

Trust yourself. This might be the most important (and hardest) thing to do. You might be questioning your own instincts at this point: “Should I have done something differently?” “Shouldn’t I have seen this coming?” But learning to trust yourself, your own feelings, and that you’ll be okay moving forward is key to having a healthy relationship with anyone. If something doesn’t feel right, rethink about whether or not it’s right for you.

As you are rebuilding your relationship, remember the following:

  • Cheating is never an excuse to be abusive toward your partner. There is no excuse for abuse.
  • Cheating does not mean your partner has no right to privacy anymore. It’s not healthy to demand that they share their cell phone or social media passwords with you, or constantly check up on them and make them prove that they are telling you the truth. What you share with each other is still a decision for each of you to make. Again, it will be your choice to trust or not trust your partner.

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If You’re the One Who Cheated

If you cheated on your partner, and you both have decided to try and make your relationship work again, there are a few things you need to do:

Take responsibility. Own up to your behaviors, and be understanding about how those behaviors have made your partner feel. Be honest with yourself as to why you made the decision to cheat.

Keep promises. Call when you say you’ll call. Do what you say you’re going to do. Show that you are worthy of trust.

Give your partner space. They will be angry and hurt about what you did, and they have a right to feel and express their feelings. Sometimes it might seem like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back, but you must recognize that this process takes time. Trust cannot be rebuilt overnight. However, like we said above, your partner does not have the right to be abusive toward you, and you still have a right to your own privacy.

Communicate openly. Find out what your partner needs. Really listen to them. Be honest with your partner about what you need. Are you willing and able to meet your partner’s needs, and vice versa? If not, it might be time to reconsider whether staying in the relationship is right for both of you.

 

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